i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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