Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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