I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
