and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
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I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize