During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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