Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
