all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
