I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The adults are the big ones right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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