ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
