Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
