She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it glows. i had to have it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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