plz talk dirty to me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
