I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
