Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The power of my boobs compel you
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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