And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
