Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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