Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
