He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
