kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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