Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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