O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
