So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
