this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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