We won't sleep together?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
