This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
