girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Welp...herpes.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
