She is in my trunk
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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