My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
