Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have feelings that need drinking.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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