My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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