So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
