That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
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And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He better not be in your backpack
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
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I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize