They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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