I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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