Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
