If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
