I bet he comes in French.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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