He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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