drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
