Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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