wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize