had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
