Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
