I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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