i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
