Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.