is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
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Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life