if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand