Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
