you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
