Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
