I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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