escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
