We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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