The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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