i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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