NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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