so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
