Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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