OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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