Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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