'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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