Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
