Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
