We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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