If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
