I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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