I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
